The Dark Side of Meal-Prepping

…As told by a former obsessive-compulsive prepper.

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Insta-worthy meal prep picture prepped, captured and provided by yours truly.

 

Sunday.

The day others associate with family, religion, sport, and rest.

Sunday in my house:

  • Wake up
  • Freshen up
  • Go to mall
  • Buy an array of nutritionally dense and startlingly overpriced proteins, carbohydrates, and “healthy fats” rumored to have enough superjuju to ressurect the fucking unicorns – DO NOT FORGET AVOCADOS.
  • Come home
  • Unpack groceries
  • Whip out cheap, old (and questionable af) food scale
  • Create recipes on MyFitnessPal and label ingredients and macros on containers.
  • Cook up everything.
  • An example of what an average prepped work week would look like:
    • INGREDIENTS: 12 pc skinless chicken breasts; 6 pc thick sirloin steaks; durum wheat macaroni; mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan cheeses; spinach; tenderstem broccoli; rainbow bell peppers; baby spinach; 6pk avocado; limes; black beans; white quinoa; greek-style double cream yogurt; caesar dressing; plum basting sauce; tomatoes; mini cucumbers; olives; carrot batons; baby corn; garlic; coriander; parsley; chilli; lemon grass; soy sauce; coconut sugar; Worstershire sauce; liquid smoke; red onions; baby sweet potatoes; butter; full cream milk; sesame seeds
    • Monday: Durum wheat macaroni and cheese with grilled cajun (skinless) chicken breast, spinach, and corn.
    • Tuesday: Korean bbq-style beef on quinoa, halved potatoes; broccoli, sliced rainbow peppers, spinach, avocado, lime, corn, carrots; and black bean salad.
    • Wednesday: Grilled chicken caesar salad (skinless chicken marinated in greek yogurt and herbs tossed with quinoa, broccoli, light caesar dressing, corn, avo, spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, olives, and grated parmesan)
    • Thursday: Plum sauce basted beef slices on durum wheat macaroni with roasted tomatoes, spinach, broccoli, rainbow peppers, and corn.
    • Friday: Baked “southern-fried chicken” with roasted sweet potato, broccoli, tomatoes, black beans, corn, carrots, and anything else left over
    • Saturday: Take out day
    • Sunday: The day of multiple nervous breakdowns.

For the past few months, Sunday has without an absolute doubt been the worst day of my week. It’s the 19th of October and I have not meal-prepped in two weeks. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit but I think I’m pretty much compulsion free. I’m enjoying fresher meals, purchased on the day thanks to the help of the Zulzi app (seriously life-changing – basically you log your order and and a group of professional shoppers run out and get your goods. It’s fast and convenient and the best part is that the shoppers have the ability to message you with options to refund or substitute with a similar product).

Takeaway message:

THOU SHALT NOT PUT THYSELF IN STRESSFUL FOOD-PREP SITUATIONS BECAUSE IT IS A TRENDY THING TO DO. Seriously, my poor back.

x

Rai